Niji - Rainbow

Niji -Rainbow- New year! 

 Mmm... So... It's new year soon ne? Mmm... lost of stuff have happend... Mmm... Today i- no this week i was crying my eyes is hurting ^^ 

I've been watching Gokusen to say good bye for this year! and sometimes i just break down crying about it... You should watch it ne! Mm... So... Mmm... I'm just... Happy ^^ abit. 

Ah! Niji by Aqua Timez is the theme song for Gokusen season 3! It reached my heart so it actually hurt! and Feel you breeze is the theme song for Gokusen season 1! These two... I really like it!

mmm... I also like season 2! mmm.... 

Aren't i saying "mmm..." many times now? ^^ hehe... Mmm... 

Next year will be okay! 

Niji - Aqua Timez eng sub:

Credits:
English Translation by Mognet-Japanese Translation Group

It's alright, if you look up it's already there
It's alright, look, it's a rainbow bridge
We can finally laugh beneath the same sky

When I retie my shoelaces, the wind presses at our backs
Let's draw out the continuation to that dream, beyond the light that the sky spills down
The left part of my chest pounds fast, expectations and anxiety beating out my pulse
I wonder if it will really be alright? I wonder if we'll be able to overcome everything?

It's alright, if you look up it's already there
It's alright, look, it's a rainbow bridge
When you stop crying, it spans the sky
Hey, you can see it right? Way over there
I can see it too, just the same as you
Our two skies will now become one
We can finally laugh beneath the same sky

We were born with our own separate skies, skies that project our memories
You have your own story, and tears that I know nothing of
You may have been trying when I laughed
There are happiness's that are similar, but there's definitely no sadness's that are alike

Adding a border to the future with "a promise", I decorate with words
You certainly were wanting a certain tomorrow more than anyone else

Like one of the changing seasons
Sad times remain sad
Don't hurry happiness along
It's alright, I'm right here
It's alright, I'm not going anywhere
When I start running again, I'll be with you

"Will that bridge span out in a world without tears?"
Graffiti carved into a wall really resembled someone's writing
Keeping sadness at a distance, you tried to it with a bridge
But now I throw aside my umbrella and close my eyes

It's alright

It's alright, if you look up it's already there
It's alright, look, it's a rainbow bridge
In the sky of you, who is done crying
Hey, you can see it right? In such vivid colors
I can see it too, just the same as you
A rainbow called "a bond" has spanned across the sky
And
Our two skies will finally, finally become one
And make us run again
 

 HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU PEOPLE! 

HAVE GOOD HEALT AND TAKE CARE!

 KEEP DREAMING AND CHERIS THEM AND NEVER GIVE UP! FIGHT OH! OH~

 

 

 

 

 

 

Someday

"Someday"

Someday, sometimes i feel so weak... That even standing seems so hard... 

Breathing seems so hard... Even talking was hard... Nothing was good... Everything was so dark..

But isn't life like this? I ask myself... I couldn't answer... Even moving forward was painful...

 Someday i look up to the sky and i even forget how to fly... I forgot how to dream... I even forgot my own dream... 

"Standing still in winter"  

Everytime i go to school... under the cold winter... I always stop and look around... 

"Spring that gently strokes the ear" 

When the srping times come it gently stroke my ear... Walking my way to school... dreams start to blossom again... Hope and new dreams start to come... It gently, gently strokes the ear... and let us have some hope.... 

"Summers warm breeze"

Summers warm breeze have such a wonderful feeling... everything have blossom out so beautiful... 

dreams and hope have blossom and people feel abit warm inside...

"Fall dyed the leaves colour" 

Fall when everything are getting darker... But sometimes it make us feel some weird warmth inside us... Dreams disappear and fall gently to the ground on a road way... 

 

If There wasn't a new tomorrow now i can speak my heart out... EVen my dream look so fun in others eyes i'll still try to make it come true! sometiems you feel so lonely but when you're there.. its should be beautiful...

"Searching for the answer in Winter"

If there was an answer for me how to walk... Go on the faster way... but have a chance to slip.. or take the other long but safe way...

 "New dreams come along the spring"

 The new dreams start to pop up on the trees around us... Nothing look the same anymore... 

"Dreamed that blossomed in Summer"

The new dreams that blossom in summer... Nothing feels the same... Something is gone... New dreams.. Old dreams... New hope... Old hope... 

"Searching and passiong around in autuum"

Searching for the answer in autuums dyed colour and trees... 

People walk around only thinking about themself and don't care if they are killing someone without even knowing it... 

"Kill me gently and forget me for me... There is nothing else left to me to believe" 

//Kenichi MiYuki

One Summer's day 2: Why do you care?

                                 One Summer's day: 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzXALkjsyoM&feature=related

"You know Sakura-chan... That where ever you are, who ever you love, how ever you chose your own path, are in love with a girl or boy... Where ever you are... I'll watch over you forever... I love you!

                                                            // Mom

                                Why do you care?

                                        * Nimura Kisaki's pov* 

I walked along the way to home after the concert... When i stoped at the park... I heard someone cry and wonder who it is.

I walked in to the park and saw a girl sitting there all alone crying... I don't know why but... I walked over to her and gave her my tissue and asked 

"Are you okay?" She looked up and i realise it was Misaki Sakura... 

"Why do you care?" she said and looked at me with a weird look 

"I don't know but.. Here... Take this and wipe away your tears... you look awful now you know that?" I said and we started to laugh... 

"You've got a beautiful smile you know that Misaki-san? You should smile more" I said when Sakura took the tissue that i just gave to her

"Really? But anyway's.... Why are you still kind to me when i was rude to you earlier this day?" Sakura asked me and i looked up to the blue sky

"Well... My mom told me once... "Just because the person is rude or mean doesn't mean everytime that they are bad... Some may do it because they are sceard... Sceard for reality..." So i thought you was maybe sceard that i would take all the attention from you..." 

The cloud started to look grey... the sky started to be black... 

"Oh... I-I-I Wasn't sceard about that you would take away all the attention from me! I-i-i-i just... just..." and her voices faded away...

"You just?... You don't need to say anything now... But why are you sitting here all alone and crying?" 

She looked at me and smiled 

" Because... There was one person who said to me... "I want you to... Chose your own path... Can you do that? not for me... But for you! So you'll never regret something..." she knew the answer is "no" still she ask me... "

Sakura looked down 

I looked at her then smiled and said

"But isn't it true? To chose your own path? and go that way? But at least... If it is a wrong way to chose... like killing, taking drugs and so on... Then don't chose that way from the beginging... But well... In our life we can still change our life to soemthing better... " She looked at me and punshed me playful and said 

"I'm not going on drugs your fool!" 

"And i haven't said that either!" We both started to laugh again... but the  silence came back again... 

" But you know... That in our life... there is one time when someone just came in and change everything... In what way i don't know... But... When you make a desicion... After that... don't regret about it... Just make the good of the desicion" I said and the rain started to fall down on the ground slowly... 

"Oii... It starts to rain... Come let's go home!" I said and took Sakuras hand and she took mine and we started to walk away... 

"My way home is the oppsite way... Nimura-kun..." Sakura said to me... and i laughed 

"Ooo-ooh! Really?! Sorry for taking you the wrong way!!" I said and bowed... 

"Haha! No it's okay! Thank you for today and sorry for what i've said to you today... and thanks for the tissue... I'll get a new one for you!" Sakura said and smiled to me.

"No! It's okay! and about playing piano... I know i did some mistake... But i did all my best that is why i was proud that for once i did something with all my heart and soul! and the tiseu it is okay! I've got more back home!" 

"Oh! Okay... But anyways! Thank you very much!" Sakura said to me and started to walk away... I turned around and looked at the road and turned back and said 

"What school are you in now?!" I yelled to Sakura who turned her back and anwser

" Hana Mori Girls only school at Shinjuku! How about you?" She waved to me and smiled

" Sakura saki High school at Shibuya~!" I said and waved back to her. She turned around and started to walk away... I turned around again and the traffic light turned green and started to cross the street with other millions peoples...

"Hana Mori Girls Only school... at Shinjuku?... Wooow~ She've got to be rich to go at a private girl's only school... " I said while i ran home. The rain started to fall more and the weather looked really bad.

I enter the door to the little dark apartment...

"I'm home...."

But there is no one to come back home too... There is no one who will answer me with a smile and say "Welcome home Kisaki-chan! How was your day? Are you hungry?" And i'll answer back "My day was great! And i'm soo soo hungry! what for dinner?"... But there is no one for me to say like that and answer me like that... I'm going to sleep awhile before i go to my part time job...

                    

                                      *Misaki Sakura's pov*


... Nimura-kun... Why are you so kind? Please don't be kind to me... I'll just lose you too... as i lost my other friend's... Don't be this kind to me.. please...

"I'm home..."

"Welcome home Sakura-san! How was your day? and Mrs.Misaki-san  wants to talk to you!"

"I don't feel like talking to that bitch..."
I HATE when the maid is standing there and saying "Welcome home!" with a fake smile on there face!
I don't want someone to say welcome home to me! If they don't mean it! then i don't want to!! And what does that bitch want from me again?! What does she want now?! Me to be the "Perfect child"?!? I've done everything she wanted... Just because i love my mom.... But why... It is better if she just go kill herself!

I ran up the stares and in to my room when i saw Yumeko sit on my bed.

"What do you want?!?" I yelled at her

"I'm your mom show some respect!" She replied that simpel?!? She've got to kidding with me!?

"And?! What do you want form me!? Why are you here?!?" Now she better reply better then what she did before!

"You'll need to move out for awhile... Can you take car of yourself? I've already got a place for you to live in! It is near to Shinjuku so you'll be alright with the school... and about food and stuff like that.. I'll send you money at the begining and end of the month... " I stood there shocked did she say.... I gonna move out?!?

"Why most i move out?!?!!? What have i done?!?!?" I screamed at her and began to cry....

"Don't cry dear... Your stepfather is coming home and-" I cutted her off

"Because you love your new man more then dad?!? Why aren't you sad!? It had just past 1 years since dad died and you already are married! and what?!? yeah sure I'll move out! I'm big enough to take care of myslef yeah! good!"

I ran out of the room and the house... I didn't know what i should do... Why don't she care about me anymore?! What have happend to her?!

I didn't know where i should go... I've run in 3 hours now... it starts to get dark... and
 "How the Hell did i end up at Kabuki-cho?!?!" I screamed out and some hostess started to laugh abit...

"Eeee-eeeh~ What do a little Hana Mori girl do here at shinjuku?" A drunk man said...
"Oiii~you guys don't you see that the girl is sceard?! Back off!" a Long tall man said and smiled at me
"Oii~ Little Hana Mori girl are you okay?"

"I'm not little! I'm 17! and next, next month is my birthday so i'll be 18!" I looked at him angry and he just laughed...

"Ahahahaaa~ Sorry sorry! I forgot! Hana Mori girls only school is a High school! Sorry! But what are you doing here are alone?" The guy who is taller then me... I guess he is a host... So he better not say "come to my club where i work!"

"It's okay... And... I'm just walking around... You are a host right?" I asked him and he laughed

"Ok! Walking around sounds weird! and yes i am a host! and no! I won't say come to my club because i still think you are to young! and you are young! So don't get sceard! Oh and by the way I'm Misaki!" He said and did a quick bow

"Oh! Did you read my mind? Misaki? My last name is Misaki... Nice to meet you! But what is your real name?" He laughed

"NO! But the face you did told me everything! So your name is Misaki Sakura right? Nice name! My real name? You know the rules for host and hostess right? Not to tell your real name so i'm not gonna tell!" he punshed me a softly punsh

"Eeee-eeeh?!? What are you doing here Sakura-chan?!" A girl in maid dress came to me and asked.. Isn't it..

"Nimura-kun?!?! Why are you here? and wearing a maid dress?!?"

"Aaaa-aaah~ Saki-chan! You know her?" The host said and hugged Nimura-kun tight

"She is a friend from the music academy i are attending now!" Nimura-kun said and smiled at me.

"Yeah.. But do you two know each other?" I asked while the host gave Nimura-kun a quick kiss on her cheek and Nimura-kun got all red... I don't know why but i got jealous at the host...  and then the host waved to me and said bye to both of us.

"He is one of my friend since i was a child! still he is my senior... or he was my senior! but what are you doing here?" I looked down and said

"My mom doesn't love me... She love her new husband more then me... She wanted me to move out.. she have  place for me to live! It is somewhere near my school..."

"Eeee-eeh?! No way! Every parent's love there child! and no matter what she is still your mom! Where are you going now then? Have you a place to sleep tonight?" Nimura-kun... Don't touch me... Please!! I don't know why my heart beat this fast when you touch me!

"I don't know..." I answer her and looked down...

"09:30 pm..." she said and looked at me

"eee-eeh?"

"09:30pm is when i end my job... can you wait in 45 minutes? then you can sleep over at my place! If you don't mind of cours!"  Nimura-kun smiled at me...

"Yeah! i can wait! I don't mind! but it is okay with your parents?"
When i said "Parents" Nimura-kun looked so sad...

"My mom and dad died in an car accident three years ago... So i don't have someone at my home... My aunt live in Osaka but yet sometimes she comes to tokyo to visit me and see if i'm fine..."

"Oo-ooh... I'm sorry for asking... and that is sad... So you live all alone now?"

"Before i had one person who lived with me... But now he is to busy to come home... to be with me... to care about me... So now i live all alone..."
If anyone could see her face now... they should understand that she is really sad...


"But well! I better go to my job now! See ya later!" and then i just looked at Nimura-kuns back fade away slowly at this one moment... I thought "It isn't only me who have been throw pain... Everyone have... and Nimura-kun got it more then me... but she still can laugh and have fun... But i guess deep in her heart she is crying... Even she wasn't the best at playing piano... she was loved all the time by others around her..."



                                          *Misaki Yumeko's pov*

 "Oooo-oooh~ Where is Sakura?! Go find her!!"
"Yes Miskai-san!"


 Why don't she understand that i want to protect her from my new husband?! I love her more then my own life! I did anything to give her the best life! so she would not need to have a hard life!
 Why don't she understand?!? I'm her mom... Of cours i gonna love her... She is everything for me... But you know... You and me are the same... We don't like to show how we really do feel... Not that i don't feel sad... The feeling i have is like i've been in hell...

                            I love you and always gonna love you Sakura-chan... Love you from Momi! <3

Nimura kisaki

Misaki Sakura

Misaki Yumeko

One summer's day 1: When we first met

                                 One Summer's day: 1              

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1ni1sVCgEk        

The piano music started to play loudly in the music hall...

"One summer's day when we first met... Do you remember? Sakura? When we first met? I tought you where someone, someone like me never could reach. Someone like you only looked down at someone like me...
Someone I never thought would even care about me... Nee Sakura-chan... Do you know? that I love you <3 "

                                               When we first met...

                                                            *Nimura Kisaki's pov~*

The piano music started to play loud in the music hall...This was my first time in my life that i was going to play at a piano concert... I was always the one who never would be choosed to play at a concert to the music school I'm playing in now.
"There is no reason for someone like you to play at this kind of concert! You'll better train 10 times better then what you do now!" My whole world broke into pieces... My dream got destroyd... My life went dark just because of those word's... Isn't it funny how one persons word could change your whole life?
Thinking back about that... It make's me laugh... Ridiculous isn't it? To listening to someone who dosen't mean anything to you.

"Next person who'll play is Nimura Kisaki, Third year's student with the song "One Summer's day" composer Joe Hisaishi!" and from the backstage i heard nothing but silence... Other third years student had already played here before maybe one or 6 time's... But i've never played here before... I tought "Now it is my time to shine!" I  walked up on the stage and sat down infront of the piano.

It was silence for a few second's... Then i started to play... Slowly... Slowly... Started to play... After those word it had been over 1 year now. In one year, I've grown up more then when i was at that time.
I played more louder and louder... and played how i felt...  and how much i've trained the last years that have passed... Those years isn't worthless or anything...
Those year was beauituful...When i was done everyone was clapping to me and said i had improved myslef after this three year's at this accademy.

But then... You came in... and said to me...
 "So pathetic you are! You made alot of mistake in the song! Still you are proud because of it?!"
You the one who didn't know how hard I tried to do my best, The one who didn't understand me who is a third year student but never did get the chance to stand on the stage, The one who didn't know that i've lost my 3 year's and only have one year left to show what i can do.

 "Oii~ Sakura-chan! Even Kisaki-kun did made some mistake dosen't mean you can just go and say like that!"

Fourth year's student Shirakawa Akane-senpai... She is one of the most best person in this earth that i know! She is awsome at playing piano... Still she have her dark little secret... When i first met Akane-senpai... I showed how easy pushed down i was, I never really did understand something back then... But nowdays... I always look at Akane-senpai... and she understand what i am telling her from my eyes... "If you need a shoulder Akane-senpai... I'll be there for you!"

"But!-" The girl who named Sakura got cutted off by her own teacher Sora-sensei. An Actually fun and weird teacher.
"Sakura-chan! Don't think that you are the best and you can say whatever you want to other people!" Sora-sensei said while smiling.

Sakura turned back and ran away from everyone. I tought... "Now i've got someone who hates me... Great!"



                                                                 *Misaki Sakura's pov*

" Aaaaaaa~~ I want to scream out! What is the problem of people nowdays!? Why are that shit loved by everyone?!? At least all of the student here! Aaaaa~!"

"Because she is a nice person! She try very much at playing piano, which made everyone support her... And who ever want some help in one or two ways... She is always there to help people... Unlike you who are talanted, rich, young and selfish. Everyone admirs you... But no one likes you! I've got to agree that sometimes you are really playing on my nervs!"

"Sachiko-senpai? Do you really mean that?!" I looked at Sachiko-senpai who just smiled at me.

"Yeah I really mean that! But you know... Sakura-chan... When i first met you.. You was all cold and private to everything and everyone... So at that time i tought like " Damn! Hopefully I won't be this cold girl's Senpai!" But then when the prinicpal said "Takashima  Sachiko-san you'll be Misaki Sakura-san senpai! Take care of her from now on!!"you looked at me cold as i tought you would look at me...  and you know what?... when i first heard you play piano... I got amazed how you moved your fingers so grateful... It looked like you where a pro... But unlike other's senpais and Kohai... We both where diffrent from other's.. because you never let me in and you never wanted help from me in any way... You played and learned piano all alone...You just let me watch..."

"S-sachiko... senpai?" I Looked at Sachiko-senpai and saw some tears falling down slowly from her eye down to her cheek...

"But you know what?... For me... When i knew i would be someone's senpai... I was happy... Even tought it was you! I as thinking that we should have some fun together at least! I wanted you to at least sometimes go ask me... Whatever you wanted! It don't need to be about piano... Just whatever you wanted to ask... Everything would be fine if you just asked me... just something... for once... and when you let me in... I was so so happy... That no words in this world could ever never describe how happy i was... But unlike Akane and Kisaki who just had all fun... Even sometime's they get annyoing... but... From the first... Both of them was loved by every student one here.... "  Sachiko-senpai started to cry harder and I could just watch her...

"Ooo-ooh... I'm Sorry Sachiko-senpai... I haven't done something to you at all... and this is your last year here... " For the first time in my life i really said something i really do mean...

" Oh! no it's okay! I'm just happy to see you play piano... But before i graduate... Could you do one thing for me?... Sakura?"

For the first time in my life... This is the first time in my life that Sachiko-senpai asked me to do anything for just HER and ONLY her.

"Yeah! Sure! I'll try to do my best S-sachiko-senpai!"

"Eee-eh?! Why are you crying?!? Did i say something wrong?!"

"N-n-no! It is just! Now... When i saw you cry! I understand how much pain and loneliness i've gave you! So now i want to try my best for you! Sachiko-senpaiiii~~" Sachiko-senpai was holding my hand and i hugged it so thightly as i can...

"I want you to... Chose your own path... Can you do that? not for me... But for you! So you'll never regret something... Can you?" Sachiko-senpai looked at me.. and she wasn't joking about that...

"No.. No! I can't! You know that why do you still ask?! I hate you!" I ran away from the music hall and i know every step that i am taking now... I'll regret them ALL... Because everything that Sachiko-senpai said was ALL true.. I follow my parents... But never followed my heart... I'm runing away from someone that is caring about me more then i care about myself!...


                                                            *Takashima Sachiko's pov*

"Oooo-ooh!! What have i done again?!? Why did i ask like that when i knew she would get mad at me?! Aaaa-aah~ Why am i so stupid?!"

"Because you are Takashima Sachiko the person who never understand what other people thinks and feel! "

"A-Akane-chan?" I turned around and saw Akane come close to me... and hugged me thightly... I felt really really like a child who just lost her favorite doll somewhere and can't find it... I started to cry even harder when Akane pulled me back softly and said

" Nee... Hiko-chan! You may hurt Sakura-chan but don't you think now she will understand... Just abit more? Even in some cases where the person don't understand each other's feelings still can't understand each other?
There is somewhere in her life that she will find the answer to herself... What she want, What she need's and what she still gonna learn from others... Right? So i guess you opend up her eye's even a little bit!..."

"Akane... Why did you get Kisaki and not Sakura? You're both great at piano... You can't fool me! I know the teacher wanted you and Sakura me and Kisaki! I've heard everything after that day! Why?" I looked at Akane who looked away and smiled.

"Because... She is like me before... Closed everything and everybody from me... I didn't let someone in... and i knew if i was with her she would never open up... But i was thinking... If you could open me up.. Then why can't you open Sakura-chan up to? "

"Isn't what you do unfair to Kisaki? " Akane just laughed at my comment and said

"She is special in her own way... Kisaki... She have something that most people here doesn't have... But i can't put a finger on what...
But you know... Hiko-chan... Before we graduate next year... I'll let you know one thing i wanted to tell you half of the time we have known each other... "

"Ooo-oh! Okay! But I think Kisaki is a really... Really... I don't know what to say about her either... And what do you want to tell  me?? Can't i know it now?"

"Haha! Yeah! I know! She is... Ugh... I don't know what to say about her! And i won't tell you... yet...
 But anyways! What university will you attend? Me myself is thinking about Tokai... My currently school say if i work more harder I'll past the entrance test quite well... What about you? Hiko-chan?"

"Oh! if you don't want to tell me now... Then okay... Todai? Everyone else here is all thinking about you go to SeiRai, because you have such a talent... I was thinking about Tomo Gakusen... But i don't know if i'm going to past the entrance... Why do you want to go to Tokai? Akane?"

"Because... This is the path that i've chosed... Why i learned to play piano was because i thought it sounds so beautiful yet i still think so... But... To be famous because of playing piano... Isn't really my dream.. To just play piano is fun...
That is why i wanted you to have Sakura-chan as Kohai... I wanted you to learn her how to chose your own path... and i still believe you can do it! "

"A-akane..." I couldn't talk anymore... Akane stood up and started to walk away... as i was sitting there and couldn't do anything...

I walked up to the piano and started to play on it... "It's only a fairytale"   There was once before that I've been chosed to play this song while one of the song students was singing it... Everyone thought it was such a beautiful harmony... But we two understood that we failed... About the meaning of this song... Even thought we said "thank you" to everyone... That girl always smiled... But now she haven't smile at all... Everyone is expecting much from her as much as everyone is too Akane about her playing piano... Both of them have been on stage together...

Why am i such and loser?


      

                      End of chapter 1 of "One summer's day" When we first met 

Shirakawa Akane Fourth and last year's student

Takashima Sachiko Fourth and last year's student

Misaki Sakura third year's student

Nimura Kisaki third year's student

Poem - No thank you!

When this feelings start to fade away step by step it's only you i want to be by my side forever i will always sing this song even if it means my voice is going to die away!...

There is only one thing i want before you want me to go...Close your eyes...Can i kiss you?

If i just can stay with you forever...There is nothing else i want...Why can't you see that i love you?

Our past is just like a game of life! I guess my first life was boring, my second life was a drummer in a band, my third life was a millioner.

Why do our life play with us like this? I always thouth life was something everyone love...But after i saw you hurt yourselfe like that it was like the whole world end....

Would you forgive me if i help you once again? This tears are nothing i want to see from you!

When i first though it was just a joke that you is the one that hate me...But my eyes get open again i see how much you use me...It is to late to leave you here in this dark way?

No Thank you! I don't need you anymore i just want to be with my own you don't even know the word love is!! How can you call me "Dear" When you just really hate me with all your heart? This is not the way i want! I still want to be alive when your gone from my life!!!

This is what that called love? I don't like it at all!! Why do we have so much pain in this world?

When the spring start i still feel your heartbeat. I know you will soon come and beg me on my foot. Are you out of your minds boy?

I will always follow my unchangeing dream. Untill the world ends i will always want to dream how hard it is to come to my dream i will fight! Because i can't regeret something anymore. I've choose this path so this paths is only my future not my past! I will live today! I will always live in the present. Not looking back to the past and regeret someting! Just loooking forward to the future!!

But after a while i see you come near me again! This phonixe in my heart spred there wings and shine in the sun! Beatuful as i never thought!! Golden phoneix is my dream now untill forever! Now i want to live untill the day i can't dream anymore!

Poem - Rose

Rose...
My dear rose...
Your warming smile...
Your bright soul...
You're the one i want...
My heart beat just for you...
Why can't you see?...
Why do you leave me?...
I love you as the bird's heart beat...
I'll be on your side enternally...
The rain falling from my eye's...

Could you hear my heartbeat beat faster? If you just for once look into my eye's and see what i want, my heart which start to become more empty without you... why? why? why? why? I ask you once again... WHY?

Poem - Song

Ver:1 
If we just met under same sky... Would we become happy? 
If this day didn't come... will we have fun?
If we just didn't cry... would we smile?

My heart continued to beat when i was with you...  My life got more importent to me... You change, i change... step by step... If we just wanted the same thing... I guess we'll become happy....
How much we spend our time together... We will never become happy...

Even how much i want to go away and spreed my wings... I could probably don't become happy... So i just want to say "Thank you"


Ref:
The path i always use, seems so far away...
Those memories back at time... Would i become happy if i closed them at those classroom?...
Would i stop crying?... Would we smile togehter again?
Could we just for once forgive each other? and mean it?...
We are saying good bye to each other... Those school doors start to close... with our undead memories...

Ver:2
Even nothing will change...
Even my heart still beats...
Even those day will never return...
Even if i stop falling...
Even you said you'll miss me...

My heart doesn't stop crying... The voice i hear inside me... It is quite familiar... Could it be your voice? We take it step by step...  Even the sky fall... Will we become happy again?
From now i promise myself to become more happy... But if i just could see you smile again before closing those door... I'll become happy untill starting a new life...


Ref:
The path i always use, seems so far away...

Those memories back at time... Would i become happy if i closed them at those classroom?...
Would i stop crying?... Would we smile togehter again?
Could we just for once forgive each other? and mean it?...
We are saying good bye to each other... Those school doors start to close... with our undead memories...


Brygga:
My sun stop shining for awhile... My Heart skip a beat... My life start to be more waste of time
Now we can't go back to those time together...
Could you sing a song for me... Just for awhile... so i can fall deep into a long dream...
But still in my dreams the water of emotation still reach me and make me the rain streams down my cheek...

Let me sleep by your song!

Ref:
The path i always use, seems so far away...

Those memories back at time... Would i become happy if i closed them at those classroom?...
Would i stop crying?... Would we smile togehter again?
Even the light, even with these notes, I think they'll reach you
The memories are played out....

Poem - Unknown

To be unknown... To be loved... To be remembered... To be the one that someone would say just for once... and mean it... "I love you"... To much?
Am i asking to much?...
Unknown as my name is... Will someone sleep by my name when i'm dead? Even if i wouldn't be here... you wouldn't fail, right?
Even if you don't have me to blame on... Would you still be alive?
From the past to present you haven't change at all...
Cry.... Tears keep falling... Smiling while inside is screaming by pain...
Looking back... still hear myself crying... Learn to forgive... Learn to forget... Live with pain...
I'm screaming out pain... No one seems to notice... My voice slowly fade away... My name get more unknown...
Will you still breath... If I'm not you're doll anymore?... Could someone see how much i scream?
Pain... It still hurt when you know from the begining that no one seems to want you to be alive...
During my life... I never hear someone be greatful that i'm still alive... greatful... That how much i fail... i still try to add it up again...
Am i the only one who never gonna have a dream?... Want to show everyone that knock me down how i can be loved, how i can be remembered?
Keep crying... Keep smiling... Keep lying... Keep everything for my own...
Never get destroyd... Human you know what?... You can't hurt me anymore...

             I'M ALREADY DEAD!!!      (X.X)

Säg inte!

Säg inte att du känner mig!
Säg inte att du vet hur jag är!
Bara så att ni som använder bara mun för att prata med så kan jag, vet jag men jag bryr mig inte!
Man ska inte tro att man känner mig!
Jag visar bara utsidan på mig!
Jag tänker inte låta någon komma in i mitt liv!
Ha inga förhoppningar på att jag kommer låta någon komma in i mitt liv stöka till det och gå iväg så där!!
Ingen vet hur jag är egentligen och jag kommer inte låta någon veta!
Jag kommer inte, inte ens låta min familj fatta hur jag är!
Man vet inte om mig alls!
Säg att du vet hur jag är kommer jag skratta ihjäl mig!
Tro att ni vet vad jag kan och inte kan göra!
Jag vill inte att någon ska älska mig!
Jag vill inte Älska någon!
Försvinn, Stick, dra här ifrån! Jag vill inte ha någon!
Det som kallas för vänner behöver man inte! Vad ska man med dom till?!
Man kan inte lita på någon!
Jag har fått nog!
Jag skiter i vad andra tycker om mig!
Tro inte jag kommer förlåta någon nånsin!
Tråkigt! Tråkigt! Allting är Tråkigt!
Jag vill försvinna i mörkret!
Låt mig va!!
Vill bara komma ut! Vill bara Flyga iväg med mina vingar! Bara långt bort från allt!
Ju mindre man vet desto bättre man mår!...Varför kan det inte hända mig?!
Jag vill inte komma ihåg något!
Jag vill inte göra några minnen för livet!
Jag vill bara bli bortglömd och vissna bort från allt och alla!
Är det för mycket begärt? 

Fake smile...

I hiding behind someones else back all the time...
I just want to disappear behind my fake smile...
It hurt when you fake smile...and then say..."Everything is okay with me..."...Most people say that.."Just think positiv and the world will see much brighter then what it is now!..."
But...in my world...how much positiv i am...i doesn't help me...am i lost?...
"Only the strongest survive...!"...The weak people doesn't deserve love...don't think so..!
Everyone deserve love...Don't thing that only the strongest and lucky one Deserve LOVE...
Love hurt...it's painful to even thing...only one thing i know is...i don't want to go in someones else way!....
I want to find my own way! Go in that way and be proud that i find my own way!

A STORY OF A SAD GIRL..

A STORY OF A SAD GIRL..

Her name was Abby
She was only five
This is what happened
.........When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

...

My Crying tears is falling...
Is it to late to love you?...
I miss you!...
I want to be in your arms...let you calm me down when i cry...but when you're gone...i can't...
I feel the sorrow in my heart...it feels like i'm going to die...i though it all the time...that you was gone...
Why didn't i notice that...now is to late...you're gone...and never will coming back to me...
I want to love you...but i can't...Love someone that is dead...the one that you love don't know that you love that person because the one you love is gone...
I don't remember how you smell like...look like...talk like...do like...i don't remember the one i love at all...
I see you disepper step by step...when you're gone who are the one i can belive in??...

I'm srry...

I'm srry!...I didn't help you...I know it is hurting you...you from another country...another culture...another language...
I know maybe me n my friend have hurt you...
I want you to forgive me...she is my friend i am whit her like everyday...
I didn't mean to hurt you...I know how you feel even you don't show i see...how much everyone is hurting you inside...n i do it to...I'm srry deep from my heart...I know that your alone...befor i want to help you...but you didn't let me...maybe you is thinking thar i gonna kill you like everyone...
but...I know how it hurts..a child that is lost in the dark...can never come back in the light...if they are not strong enough!...
I can help you out from the dark...
Just take my hand and i will show you the wayto the light...and everything would be better...
I know it's hard to forgive someone that have hurt you...but at the same time i know you have a side that is kind, shy and good...
Why not show that side?...if you would show that side it would help you very much...
If you want...come to me...ask me...
I'll take you to a beatuful place...see the sunrise...feel the warm wind and see the night...you and me are like twins...
We both are loner...Don't have real friend are alone everyday...
even everyone see use play whit our...that is calling frined....
But sometimes they just firget us!....
It's painful...right?...
I don't know why i ask you taht i know the answer...let me come in...help you out...
but at least maybe it's best that i don't do something at all...
I just want to see you be happy again...
you is crying....i want to be the one you can ask...for help...
but i guess you don't want becaouse youy are scared that i gonna hurt you adain...it's hard to forgive somone...but...i'll promise i would do the best i can to not hurt you again....
i know the dark is killing us...
Let me help you...PLEAS!!
Take my hand and i will jelp you...befor i decay....


                            (To a Friend i've hurt...hope you forgive me...)
                                        (Thx if you really forgive me Intira...)